The Mormon Cat Lady

The foundation principle here is repent and be obedient. If you find yourself thinking “I can’t afford to tithe,” let me tell you you can’t afford  not  to tithe! http://www.kcm.org/real-help/finances/apply/how-take-communion-over-your-tithe As I track my expenses I’m learning where I can be more frugal and where I could actually be spending and donating a little more I’ve discovered I spend way too much on take out and now pack my own lunch at home. https://www.lds.org/search?lang=eng&query=obedience+brings+blessings So how are repentance and obedience tied to self-reliance? First, we need to stop thinking of repentance as being sorry or remorseful about things. True repentance means changing into our true selves as we shake off the shackles of dependence on societal programs or governmental aid or even the shackles of an old way of life before the Gospel became a reality to us. Obedience to Heavenly father frees us because he has the best plan for us and knows t...

This segment in the book is geared toward couples but there is every way a single saint can use it, I promise. The foundation principle here is Exercise faith in Jesus Christ which I'm now sharing with my base here. I'm having more of a challenge this week keeping my financial log because I gave up tea and coffee and withdrawal  has been godawful. Last week I logged every thing I bought and noticed I spend way too much on take out food. Part of it is my new freedom with money since I became sober but part of it was fear that I'd break down and call a dealer. I've learned to counsel with the Lord over all I do. I shared all of last week's lesson on this blog already and it was a fun experience. Counselling with the LORD is definitely the way to go with finances. We need to pray over everything. Like Alma said, cry to the LORD over everything. Too many people ignore prayer and never call on the Lord and then when a crisis hits they think they're going to jerk th...

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints offers self-reliance courses and my ward is doing Personal Finances. As the mission of this 'blog is to share my journey with others I want to start by sharing that self-reliance is a principle of salvation. https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2016-12-037-my-self-reliance-group?category=chapter-1-becoming-a-wise-and-faithful-steward&lang=eng That's how the group learns. Everybody gets an equal chance to grow both temporally and spiritually. I've already learned that I spend way too much money on takeout food. Right now I've been sober for 34 days and I have a fear of losing that. So I tend to overspend just to avoid using drugs. However, as I learn to trust the Lord with my sobriety I also am learning to trust him with my finances. You may be wondering how self-reliance is a principle of salvation. Well, in John 10:10 Jesus tells us that he came so that we could have life, and have it abundantly. The abundant l...

The posts that you see printed below from "The Value of Faith" to "Three Years of a Family and Real Joy Part One are from this past year and were originally posted on "Word of Faith Mormon", my WordPress blog. However, some people are telling me they can't get into the WORDPRESS blog. SO I'm reprinting my old blog posts today., 11 October 2018. Everything below this post is an old one. As for my struggles with addiction, I have been drug free since 25 August 2018. I have not used crack or cocaine since 13 August 2018. I haven't used any drug including marijuana since the 25th of August. On September 13th I smoked my last cigarette. Now my struggle is with tea and coffee and let me tell you , it is real. I stopped drinking coffee and tea on 1 October and the withdrawal was hellacious.  I had a splitting headache and I couldn't stop crying and snapping at everyone. I realized in the middle of the day that this was similar to what i went through...

I have always seen Judas Iscariot as a tragic figure and my learning the doctrine of the pre-mortal life has compounded this view. In the ante-mortal existence we had the freedom to choose to side with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ or side with satan. If we have a physical body we chose God back then. Judas Iscariot had a physical body so he obviously chose God's Plan of Salvation while still in the ante-mortal realm. I suspect in the mortal realm he thought he could have the best of both worlds. After all, Jesus had escaped from the midst of people who had tried to kill him before. In the Testament of Luke Jesus got people so angry they tried to throw him off a cliff. In John people tried to stone him, but Jesus had the power to lay down his life and that would only happen when the time was right. Judas Iscariot was a disciple , one of the Twelve Apostles, and would have witnessed that. I believe Judas thought he could get the best of both worlds. When Judas saw Jesus was c...

o I haven't gotten any responses for my "religious hypocrite" post. That doesn't surprise me. If anyone reads this blog you all probably were shocked and hurt. My testimony is real and it is burning inside me. https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/12-steps-to-change?lang=eng https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-08-002-step-2-hope-prestons-story-about-drug-addiction-recovery?category=12-steps-to-change&lang=eng https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-08-002-step-2-hope-prestons-story-about-drug-addiction-recovery?category=12-steps-to-change&lang=en https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-08-004-step-4-truth-austins-story-about-addiction-recovery?category=12-steps-to-change&lang=eng https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-08-0051-step-5-confession-moronis-story-about-drug-addiction-recovery?category=12-steps-to-change&lang=eng https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-08-006-step-6-change-of-heart-arams-story-about-drug...

So the whole reason I started this blog was to share my journey and maybe see if the lessons I learn can apply to others. Recovery literature says we're only as sick as our secrets. Well there'll be no secrets once this post is published. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I'm a crack-whore. Not was. AM. Saturday night I was performing oral sex on a guy to get him to share a few lousy tokes of crack cocaine with me and Sunday morning I was standing AT THE PULPIT GIVING A SACRAMENT TALK THAT PEOPLE SAID PIERCED THEIR HEARTS. Who I am at Church is not who I am in the rest of the world. My God how can I stand this? I'm at the crossroads. The Big Book of AA states that many addicts pursue the delusion that they will someday control their addiction to the gates of insanity and even death.  Certainly I've pursued and am pursuing that delusion right through the howling winds of insanity. Why else would I keep doing it if I stil...

Praying to Heavenly Father about my back pain convinced me to call 911. I went to Scarborough Grace and after an X-ray and a CT scan it was confirmed I have two new malignant masses on my sacrum and in the soft tissue of my spine. I begin radiation treatment on the 12th of June at Sunnybrook. Getting the news is not as disturbing as some might think. You see, as one of God’s covenant people, I win no matter what happens. If the treatments are successful then “I shall live and not die and declare the works of the LORD!” On the other hand if the cancer spreads I go to sleep some evening and wake up in the Glory Land! What could be wrong with that? Of course now more than ever it’s important to me to serve in my Church and be Temple Worthy. I work on my Twelve Step programs and strive to serve Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to the utmost I can. Whether I do that on this side of the veil or the other is irrelevant. That’s what is so beautiful about being in covenant with God. ...

Today I'm blogging about why I chose that title and why I proudly declare my babies have fur and four legs.  I'm infertile but also child free by choice. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Post Traumatic Psychosis so there is no way I can have kids and not ruin their lives. There is also the fact that I despise small children. I hate how they get underfoot. I hate how they constantly monopolize the attention. I hate how they shriek through meetings. I hate how they interrupt. I hate their shrieky little voices. Go ahead and be offended. I don't care. My cats are a true comfort to me! Bartholomew always knows when  I need to be comforted. Bart is ten years old, brown tabby with long fur who looks big until you get him wet and realize this cat is all hair and eyes! Bartholomew is more comfort to me than ten sons-he knows when I need to cry and is all in my arms licking tears off my face and mewling sympathetically. When I was undergoing chemotherapy Bart would lie...

Making my stance according to the WORD of God has been instrumental to me as I finish up radiation treatment and begin to prepare for my second round of chemotherapy. The Book of Mormon has been such an additional COMFORT to me as I make this journey. 1 Nephi 11:31, 3 Nephi 17:6-9, Alma 7:11-12, 3 Nephi 22 are all ways in my heart and I'm sharing this from LDS.org: I am the Lord that healeth thee, Ex. 15:26 . Heal her now, O God, Num. 12:13 . every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live , Num. 21:8 . dipped himself seven times in Jordan … was clean , 2 Kgs. 5:14 . I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee, 2 Kgs. 20:5 . Lord hearkened … and healed the people, 2 Chr. 30:20 . Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed, Ps. 6:2 . I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me, Ps. 30:2 . He healeth the broken in heart, Ps. 147:3 . time to kill, and a time to heal , Eccl. 3:3 . understand … convert, and be healed , ...

It was in November of 2014 that I began to investigate the Church.  I was on the Vic Park 24 bus and I make eye contact with an Elder Missionary. He smiled and asked how I was and I asked what was the point of serving a mission. "Do you score points with the Lord for every convert you bag?" I joked. He didn't take offense but saw the humour and we started talking seriously. "I mean, I'm already a Christian but the stuff you guys believe is too weird for me, " I stated. "How so?" he inquired. "Oh, man! Polygamy,  living on compounds, worshiping Joseph Smith. " In the ensuing conversation  he managed to explain none of that stuff is true  and asked if I wanted a home visit. I replied I love a good theological debate and would enjoy a visit very much but if he was hoping to gain a convert  he was barking up the wrong tree. The following Saturday, as we planned, three Elder Missionaries came to visit me. The first thing that I was impresse...

I realise now of course that acts of faith are carried out in every day actions. My own mother was very much like that. She never was one for maudlin displays of emotion or booming declarations of love. Mother's love was present in the fact that I never went to school or bed hungry. I wore the latest fashions to school and to dances I had an allowance large enough to treat myself and others to smokes and candy at teen dances and even though my mother and I argued about me smoking and my wardrobe she always allowed me to make my own mistakes. I laugh now at how, age fourteen, I'd saunter out the door in a micro dress the size of a postage stamp. My poor father would say "Sheila, you're not letting her out of the house like that!" and Mom would say, "Albert, that's how young girls dress these days! She's just being fashionable." Even though she hated my wardrobe choices she always defended me. Mom's love was present in the fresh-baked br...

I'm not saying anyone forces me to go to Church. That is my choice and my joy but it would not have been my first choice. If I were living life exactly as I'd have had it my life would consist of me, my wife, a huge house and back yard full of rescued animals. Yes, I'm a #queerstake member of the LDS Church. I am bi-sexual and bi-emotional and I identify as androgynous. However I don't argue that the Church has the right to have standards. I also have the right to live those standards. Every day I choose to obey the Law of Chastity. Yes, it hurts to be told that my way of loving and being loved are not acceptable to my Father in Heaven.  At night when the need for companionship is running through my mind like a freight train and my body is aching to hold and be held and I wonder if it might really be possible to die of loneliness I wonder if I've made the right choice. No doubt a very bitter cup has been set before me but thanks be to God that my Redeemer already ...

So here I was with my own place finally but the challenges had just begun. At this point in my spiritual journey I figured all Churches were true as long as they professed Jesus as the Son of God. I was determined to spend time at various churches to see which one suited me. At the time I was taking a home study course from New Life Prison Ministry. One of my alternate personalities had been taking the course and I highly recommend the  Mending Hearts course for anyone who is just looking for sense in this world. Of course if you are being visited by Mormon Missionaries, you should listen to them because that Church is the true Church! Okay, I am getting ahead of myself! I am talking now between 2008 and 2010.  I was living in South Etobicoke at Lakeshore & Islington Avenue. I sometimes visited the United Church since they were queer-affirming and since I happen to be bisexual I did  not want anyone telling me God was against me. (I STILL DO NOT BELIEVE GOD IS ...

It was in April of 2007 that I accepted Jesus as LORD. You know, we really have to stop to think what we mean when we say "Jesus is LORD!" The meaning of the word is almost lost to us, but it is revealed in the use of the word  landlord . To be a landlord is to own, possess, and control the land. When we say "Jesus is LORD over my life!" do we mean that? Do we  want that? If we're serious it means from here on in we are relegated to second-in-command of our own lives. We have told Jesus we want him to own us, possess us, and control us. You need to understand, I was a mixed up satanist at the time I made the decision that maybe God was for me after all. The way I saw it, there was "way more evidence for the man downstairs than the man upstairs," as an acquaintance of mine put it, yet when I made the change God was there to help me along. On 1 November 2007 I moved into a one-bedroom after having been homeless for seventeen years. I was (and am) st...

So here I am in my 40's, starting Personal Progress. I never heard back from the YW leader so I'm doing it on my own. I'm not doing well. Early this morning I spent my OTB  on illegal drugs and I'm just about to go pour myself a coffee. I realise, of course, that that sounds absolutely terrible, and it is, but I am progressing, and that is beautiful. In 2002 you would have run in the other direction if you'd seen me coming at you. I had track marks from my elbows to my knuckles, my lips were constantly split open from smoking drugs on hot metal or glass pipes, and I never drew a solitary sober if I could help it. I believed in God because I hated God. Life and the filthy stinking world were all God's fault, right? Every night I'd shoot up cocaine in massive doses (I had an abcess on my arm so large it looked like there was half a grapefruit under my skin) and hope it would be the shot that killed me. Every morning I'd wake up and curse God for not ha...