The Journey Had Begun
So here I was with my own place finally but the challenges had just begun.
At this point in my spiritual journey I figured all Churches were true as long as they professed Jesus as the Son of God. I was determined to spend time at various churches to see which one suited me.
At the time I was taking a home study course from New Life Prison Ministry. One of my alternate personalities had been taking the course and I highly recommend the Mending Hearts course for anyone who is just looking for sense in this world.
Of course if you are being visited by Mormon Missionaries, you should listen to them because that Church is the true Church!
Okay, I am getting ahead of myself!
I am talking now between 2008 and 2010. I was living in South Etobicoke at Lakeshore & Islington Avenue. I sometimes visited the United Church since they were queer-affirming and since I happen to be bisexual I did not want anyone telling me God was against me. (I STILL DO NOT BELIEVE GOD IS AGAINST ANYONE.) I also attended Catholic and Anglican services, having been raised Catholic and still very much loving the ceremonialism of the Catholic Faith.
So my worship pretty much went like, Saturday evening I went to Catholic Mass, then in the early morning of Sunday I would go to the Ukranian Orthodox Catholic Church and in the afternoon to the Anglican service, where a nice Sunday brunch always followed. In the evening if I had bus fare I would head up to the United Church for evening service.
I definitely was hungry for the things of God but I do NOT want you to get the impression things were going okay for me. They were not. I was undergoing some of the worst luck anyone had ever undergone. My wallets were constantly being lost, every time I turned around I was getting bus passes stolen, losing money, being pick-pocketed.... and who do you think I was blaming for it.... you got that right, I was putting all the blame on Heavenly Father.
Every single time something went wrong I would flip out in rages that boiled over, smashing every breakable thing I could get my hands on, tearing my Bibles into shreds and burning them, taking all the books I had about God and Jesus and any kind of faith and just shredding them, vowing I was done with God and I would never, ever again waste my time with this religious crapola, it was just a load of hokum for weaklings anyhow!
Within days the rage would slowly dissipate and leave me with an aching void that simply could not be filled. Whether I liked it or not, I needed God in a way that defied intellectual grasping or even my own feelings and beliefs of being hard-done-by. Always, in the end I ended up coming back to God, sometimes very much against my own will.
At this point in my spiritual journey I figured all Churches were true as long as they professed Jesus as the Son of God. I was determined to spend time at various churches to see which one suited me.
At the time I was taking a home study course from New Life Prison Ministry. One of my alternate personalities had been taking the course and I highly recommend the Mending Hearts course for anyone who is just looking for sense in this world.
Of course if you are being visited by Mormon Missionaries, you should listen to them because that Church is the true Church!
Okay, I am getting ahead of myself!
I am talking now between 2008 and 2010. I was living in South Etobicoke at Lakeshore & Islington Avenue. I sometimes visited the United Church since they were queer-affirming and since I happen to be bisexual I did not want anyone telling me God was against me. (I STILL DO NOT BELIEVE GOD IS AGAINST ANYONE.) I also attended Catholic and Anglican services, having been raised Catholic and still very much loving the ceremonialism of the Catholic Faith.
So my worship pretty much went like, Saturday evening I went to Catholic Mass, then in the early morning of Sunday I would go to the Ukranian Orthodox Catholic Church and in the afternoon to the Anglican service, where a nice Sunday brunch always followed. In the evening if I had bus fare I would head up to the United Church for evening service.
I definitely was hungry for the things of God but I do NOT want you to get the impression things were going okay for me. They were not. I was undergoing some of the worst luck anyone had ever undergone. My wallets were constantly being lost, every time I turned around I was getting bus passes stolen, losing money, being pick-pocketed.... and who do you think I was blaming for it.... you got that right, I was putting all the blame on Heavenly Father.
Every single time something went wrong I would flip out in rages that boiled over, smashing every breakable thing I could get my hands on, tearing my Bibles into shreds and burning them, taking all the books I had about God and Jesus and any kind of faith and just shredding them, vowing I was done with God and I would never, ever again waste my time with this religious crapola, it was just a load of hokum for weaklings anyhow!
Within days the rage would slowly dissipate and leave me with an aching void that simply could not be filled. Whether I liked it or not, I needed God in a way that defied intellectual grasping or even my own feelings and beliefs of being hard-done-by. Always, in the end I ended up coming back to God, sometimes very much against my own will.
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