It's a meh Kind of Day

You ever have one of those days where nothing is spectacularly wrong, yet nothing is spectacularly right?
Yeah, it's like that right now. I'm in withdrawal from the illegal drugs I was doing until recently and withdrawal is not a good feeling. On the other hand, I have the support of Addiction Recovery Program, I have various 12-Step Programs to support me, and above all I have the Atonement.
It's such an amazing, oh-so-good thing to be able to stand against sickness and disease (including withdrawal sickness) and know that the Scriptures are my title deed to happiness, wholeness, and compleatness.
I'm still violating the Word of Wisdom right now by drinking caffeinated drinks to try to stave off a withdrawal seizure. Eventually I'll have to deal with the caffeine withdrawal and seeing that in words right in front of me is making me realize all I've been doing is postponing the inevitable.
I wonder if anyone else deals with this.
I know other people deal with this. I have no right to complain because on top of the other things I have,  I have the love of my beautiful cats who all ways seem to know when I need them most. Rhys, Bartholomew, Tigger, Sabrina, and Clare were all piled on top of me in bed last night, seeming to know that their simple presence and happy purrs filling the room were exactly what I needed to make it through the night.
Yes, getting back into dope when I had been free and earned a limited use temple recommend was dumb, but no one makes a dumb decision without being misled. Last year when I was recovering from cancer and finally had my last chemo therapy session on  23 December 2016 I was in vulnerable place and the adversary, by whispering that 2016  had been a hard year for me (truth) convinced me I owed it to myself to indulge my old habit (lie), and that Heavenly Father is forgiving and gracious and would overlook this one time only {HA!} return to the old dope standby. (Truth mixed with lies)
The lie still persists inside my head now. I have used since Friday night (today is Tuesday) and I still have to fight the part of my mind that keeps insisting if I use again this time it  will be different, that somehow, some way, I will learn to moderate and condition my usage.
This is the most dangerous lie of all and I'm sharing it here so that others will also be warned. I know my job in the mortal realm is to help other navigate the pitfalls into which I already fell. I hope this post is a step towards that.
In the Name of  our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

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