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Sharing About Rahab

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Isn't it amazing to see whom God chooses for service in His kingdom? In the natural sense, humans tend to select those individuals whose appearance—looks, height, build—meets their standards. Ability and intelligence also play a part in the selection process. The best and the brightest are assumed to be the right individuals for the important tasks. In some cases, one's family name may be the factor in whether or not an individual receives a particular opportunity. Sometimes overlooked are those who do not make a great first impression or haven't received honors and recognition. People with lower-level jobs, limited education, and a minimal range of skills are often bypassed. It is amazing the bias, prejudice, and discrimination which often comes into play. Isn't it wonderful how God doesn't use the same criteria! He sees the heart and what each person can become. He knows the potential when given the opportunity. Such is the situation when Rahab, an unlikely ...
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Not My Will

I'm not saying anyone forces me to go to Church. That is my choice and my joy but it would not have been my first choice. If I were living life exactly as I'd have had it my life would consist of me, my wife, a huge house and back yard full of rescued animals. Yes, I'm a #queerstake member of the LDS Church. I am bi-sexual and bi-emotional and I identify as androgynous. However I don't argue that the Church has the right to have standards. I also have the right to live those standards. Every day I choose to obey the Law of Chastity. Yes, it hurts to be told that my way of loving and being loved are not acceptable to my Father in Heaven.  At night when the need for companionship is running through my mind like a freight train and my body is aching to hold and be held and I wonder if it might really be possible to die of loneliness I wonder if I've made the right choice. No doubt a very bitter cup has been set before me but thanks be to God that my Redeemer already ...
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Religious Hypocrite

So the whole reason I started this blog was to share my journey and maybe see if the lessons I learn can apply to others. Recovery literature says we're only as sick as our secrets. Well there'll be no secrets once this post is published. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I'm a crack-whore. Not was. AM. Saturday night I was performing oral sex on a guy to get him to share a few lousy tokes of crack cocaine with me and Sunday morning I was standing AT THE PULPIT GIVING A SACRAMENT TALK THAT PEOPLE SAID PIERCED THEIR HEARTS. Who I am at Church is not who I am in the rest of the world. My God how can I stand this? I'm at the crossroads. The Big Book of AA states that many addicts pursue the delusion that they will someday control their addiction to the gates of insanity and even death.  Certainly I've pursued and am pursuing that delusion right through the howling winds of insanity. Why else would I keep doing it if I stil...
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